"Teaching God's Word to God's World"
2766 Airport Road, Peru, Indiana 46970, (765) 472-4111
Many would assume that pride is over confidence or
over active self-esteem. The outwardly arrogant nature of pride leads to
bragging, boasting, and an overly defensive nature. Many people think the
arrogant, bragging, boastful person struggling with pride really believes their
boasts and is an overly confident person. But bragging, boasting and the easily
offended nature of those overly defensive is not caused by too much
self-confidence but a lack of self-confidence. If they were truly confident in
who they were they would not have to brag, boast and be self defensive. They
wouldn't have to tear others down to build themselves up.
A person who is sure of themselves doesn't have to
"prove" anything. Those who are confident and know who they are don't
have to brag, look down on others to make themselves feel better, boast, nor be
overly defensive when criticized. They can handle it. They are humble. They can
admit when they are wrong. They know they are not better than anyone is and no
one is better than they are. They don't have to prove anything to anyone or
themselves.
Bragging and boasting comes from a person who is
unconfident and so he/she over-compensates with bragging, boasting, and looking
down on others faults while exalting themselves in their own eyes. Low
self-esteem is pride.
Think back to high school or Jr. High. It wasn't the
kids with good self-esteem who picked on everyone and thought they were better
than everyone. It was the kids with
empty holes in their hearts, longing for acceptance and popularity that took
pride in their looks, social status, sports ability, money, intelligence, or
circle of friends. They were proud, arrogant and snooty because down deep they
were totally insecure and had major self-esteem problems. They were comparing
themselves with others. To make them feel better about those they didn't match
up to they belittled those who they felt superior too. Low self-esteem is what
tempts us to the sin of pride.
Now there is good self-esteem and low
self-esteem just as there is good pride and bad pride.
·
Good
self esteem is when you realize you are created in God's image and therefore of
great value.
·
Good
self-esteem is when you realize you are just as good as anyone else and don't
need to be ashamed of your mistakes because everyone else has made them too and
because God has forgiven them in Christ.
·
Good
self esteem is when you realize you can take pride in your actions at a
particular time not because you did more than someone else or accomplished more
than others but because you did the best you could with the gifts and
opportunities God gave you at that moment.
·
Bad
self-esteem is when you but yourself on a scale and measure yourself against
others. This makes you feel inferior to some and superior to others. The more
inferior you feel the more you are tempted to exalt self and demean others to
move yourself up the scale in your eyes and the eyes of others.
Good pride is when you are proud of someone
else and what God is doing through them.
Examples:
·
II Corinthians 7:4, I have great confidence in
you; I take great pride in you. I am greatly encouraged; in all our troubles my
joy knows no bounds.
·
II Corinthians 8:24, Therefore show these men the
proof of your love and the reason for our pride in you, so that the churches
can see it.
Good pride is when you are proud of a loved
one.
Example:
·
Proverbs 17:6, Childrens children are a
crown to the aged, and parents are the pride of their children.
Good pride is when you are proud of your self
without comparing yourself with others.
Example:
·
Galatians 6:3-5 "If anyone thinks he is something when he is
nothing, he deceives himself Each one should test his own actions. Then he can take pride in himself, without
comparing himself to somebody else, for each one should carry his own
load."
Bad pride is when you think one person is
better than another and take pride in yourself over others by who you have
associated with.
Example
·
I Corinthians 4:6, Now, brothers, I have
applied these things to myself and Apollos for your benefit, so that you may
learn from us the meaning of the saying, "Do not go beyond what is
written." Then you will not take
pride in one man over against another.
Bad pride is when you think you are better
than some and not as good as others. You compare morality, social status,
looks, intelligence, culture, family background, or whatever.
Example:
·
Romans 12:3, For by the grace given me I
say to every one of you: Do not think of
yourself more highly than you ought, but rather think of yourself with sober
judgment, in accordance with the measure of faith God has given you.
·
Galatians 6:3, If anyone thinks he is
something when he is nothing, he deceives himself.
·
Romans 12:16, Live in harmony with one
another. Do not be proud, but be willing
to associate with people of low position. Do not be conceited.
Bad pride is when you compare yourself with
others. You put yourself on a scale and measure yourself in comparison to
others knowledge, looks, character, gifts, abilities, wealth, status,
personality, blessings and so on.
Example:
·
II Corinthians 10:12 "We do not dare to classify or compare
ourselves with some who commend themselves. When they measure themselves by themselves and compare themselves with
themselves, they are not wise."
When a person has low self-esteem they naturally
compare themselves with others. They feel low because they have compared
themselves with others and they are not as rich, good looking, smart,
spiritual, likeable, funny, gifted, or blessed with possessions, talents, or
family. So in their low self-esteem they want to make themselves feel better,
so they look the other way and compare themselves with others less blessed.
They become arrogant, boastful and brag trying to convince themselves and those
around them that they are better than most.
Low self-esteem comes from comparing yourself to
others. Pride comes from comparing yourselves to others. You can't have one
without the other. Pride is low self
esteem that takes pride in where it is better than some to comfort itself for
not being as good as some others. It tries to assume a higher status through
bragging, boasting, belittling others and avoiding those lower on the social
scale than themselves.
A person with a healthy self-esteem who is happy to
be what God made them to be can have a healthy self-esteem because they know
they are as good as anyone. God loves them as much
as anyone. Jesus died for them too. They are washed
clean as clean can be in Christ. They don't have to measure up to others. They
don't foolishly compare themselves with others. They use "sober
judgment" and by "testing themselves" against what God gave them
not what God gave someone else. They can take a healthy pride in what God is
doing through them by his grace without fear of not being as good as someone
else because they are not comparing themselves with others like a proud fool.
They have a healthy self esteem because they
know God loves them and made them in his image and through Christ has made them
holy and a new creation.
They don't need to:
·
Be
proud.
·
Brag.
·
Boast.
·
Be
overly defensive.
·
Compare
themselves.
·
Feel
inadequate.
·
Worry
about what others think of them.
·
Build
themselves up in others minds.
·
Inflate
a sagging ego.
·
Lie
to themselves and others.
·
Make
excuses for their sin.
·
Try
to assume positions beyond them.
·
Never
admit when theyre wrong.
·
Always
be right about every last thing.
·
Rebel
against authority.
·
Avoid
submission.
·
Tear
others down.
·
Avoid
those of lowly status in the worlds eyes.
·
Be
obsessed with their looks.
·
Be
greedy for money or power to improve their social status.
They can be themselves:
·
Servants
·
Humble
·
Gentle
·
Kind
·
Loving
·
Thinking
of others needs more highly than their own perverse pride induced desires.
To remove pride, just stop comparing yourself with
others. If you don't compare yourself with others anymore because you know we
are all equally loved by God, equally sinful before God, and equally savable
through Christ, and equally able to bring glory to God, then you won't have low
self-esteem and you won't have the temptation to be proud any more.
Another name
for low self-esteem is pride.